Open sex question for non LS couple

[J&F]

We're planning our 1st trip to Pearl and have spent tons of time at AN beaches and enjoy the great people we meet but we're not into watching or being watched. Should we have concerns about rampant sex throughout the day in the open? The Desire FAQs states "Having sex is permitted only in the Jacuzzi Lounge, but it is strictly prohibited in the public areas" which tends to contradict a number of posts we've read. We understand the whole "look away" theory but would rather not have it in our faces. Can some of the experts here give us some clarifications on what to expect? Sorry in advance if we sound like prudes, we just want a fun week without feeling like we're being held hostage at a porn set
Thanks in advance for your replies!

[ksr]

Just for perspective, DP twice, RM twice and going back to DP on Oct. 5th. During our stays there is very little, if any, PDS other than in the rooms, porches of the rooms, Jacuzzi and the play room. We have seen occasional PDA around the pool during the day, but almost no open sexual activity. For example, in the beds on the beach or a row back at the pool I have seen a little stroking. There is open sex around and in the Jacuzzi most of the time as well as in the play room. The Jacuzzi late afternoon and in the evening and of course the play room can get very active at night-but have high/quick turnover rate-lol. For the most part, based on our stays, people have been very considerate of the rule. For us, we enjoy seeing a couple being sexually affectionate with each other and engaging in open activity ourselves. During our stays, RM pushed the limits of the rule while DP was more discrete. It is really one of the great things that we love about DP. If you want, you don’t have to feel like you have to hide in the shadows to be intimate with your partner. Screaming is encouraged-lol. Despite the high levels of alcohol intake, everyone seems to remain very tasteful and respectful at DP. As long as you don’t mind naked people, which you will see a lot of, I think you’ll really enjoy the place.

[K and P]

We have spent quite a bit of time at Pearl so this is a question that I think I can answer.

First, a bit of perspective. Over the years we probably were at Hedo for 20 weeks and have done 10 weeks at Pearl plus stays at both RM as well as Cabo when it was open so what I think of as 'tame' may be somewhat different. There is a frisky atmosphere at Pearl that is encouraged through theme wear, foam parties, sexy darts, etc. It isn't a normal all inclusive resort- which is why we love it.

However... that wasn't your question. Let me put it this way. If you avoid the Jacuzzi late in the afternoon or during the night there is a good chance that you won't see any sexual activity at all. If you spend the day around the pool, go for breakfast, lunch, and dinner in the restaurants, hang out at the lobby bar and go into the disco for the shows you will probably notice the sexy vibe but there definitely won't be any 'in your face' sex. I can't say that it doesn't happen and can only say that I have never seen it. You could quite easily do an entire trip to Pearl without seeing anything explicit.

On the other hand if you are in certain places at certain times of the day you will. We have walked past the Jacuzzi area on the way to dinner and noticed about a dozen people stacked on top of each other. There are all kinds of things going on but whether you choose to participate or even look is up to you.

[northernlightscpl]

We're planning our 1st trip to Pearl and have spent tons of time at AN beaches and enjoy the great people we meet but we're not into watching or being watched. Should we have concerns about rampant sex throughout the day in the open? The Desire FAQs states "Having sex is permitted only in the Jacuzzi Lounge, but it is strictly prohibited in the public areas" which tends to contradict a number of posts we've read. We understand the whole "look away" theory but would rather not have it in our faces. Can some of the experts here give us some clarifications on what to expect? Sorry in advance if we sound like prudes, we just want a fun week without feeling like we're being held hostage at a porn set
Thanks in advance for your replies!

Well it looks like you know exactly what you want and don't want from your vacation at Desire. You don't want sex in your faces and do not want to be held hostage at a porn set if it happens around you (wow). As indicated in your research, these acts could happen as it contradicts the rules and posts you have read. Yup, it does happen, sometime more or less depending on the group there. It will be in your faces and if you have perceptions that you are on a porn set because sex does happen around you at Desire, you really are going to set yourselves up for what you are expecting with pre judged notions, this isn't the right vacation for you. You will not find strict rules, everyone prudes sitting playing checkers or a schedule for church services in the disco. Hope your research gives you a better idea where you are going and what to expect, because it is what it is and regardless what you want or don't want, PDS happens and by your post, you will be offended. I can't believe you posted as you did when you have apparently read all of the posts here on what happens at Desire and then planning your 1st trip. Either pick at vanilla resort instead where you will not be offended and spare other guests your attitude or leave your own expectations and judgements at home and enjoy what everyone else goes to enjoy. Understand, people will not be acting any different there because you have shown up with your own expectations what others should or should not be doing at Desire. You will have as much fun (or not) as you want at Desire. Its up to you, not other guests. We have seen this pre judged attitude of 'what they don't like' before in 1st time guests and they do not have a good time because of it. Might not be the sugar coated reply you were expecting in convincing you PDS doesn't happen and you won't be offended.

[J&F]

K and P
KSR,
I appreciate your kind and informative replies.

Northernlights,
I'm sorry if my question offended you but I thought the point of a message board was to gather information and have questions answered. Did you even bother to read our entire post or did you jump at the chance to troll what you consider to be a prude. In case you are slow or learning disabled here is a quote "Can some of the experts here give us some clarifications on what to expect?" The words "what to expect" deems we have no "pre judged notions" as you stated and it's the exact reason for asking the question. Sorry if that wasn't sugar coated enough......

[northernlightscpl]

K and P
KSR,
I appreciate your kind and informative replies.

Northernlights,
I'm sorry if my question offended you but I thought the point of a message board was to gather information and have questions answered. Did you even bother to read our entire post or did you jump at the chance to troll what you consider to be a prude. In case you are slow or learning disabled here is a quote "Can some of the experts here give us some clarifications on what to expect?" The words "what to expect" deems we have no "pre judged notions" as you stated and it's the exact reason for asking the question. Sorry if that wasn't sugar coated enough......

Whatever. Those were your own words (not mine or anyone else's) and your research of previous posts that one can determine your already had pre judged expectation what you will expect, you just wanted to verify it. Maybe leave out the 'in our faces', look away and the part on 'hostages on the porn set' you are expecting (pre judged), because that tone is offending others who have been there 10 / 20 times and enjoy their time there, that you haven't and you might get the answers you are asking for. We see you continue to be judgemental in your post and are 'right' as you think you are, so have a great time. Choose your words better next time. The advise and Desire info I offered was good advise and info. PDS happens whether you like it or not, it is what it is at Desire and you will be offended and feel a part of a 'porn set' as you stated, if PDS happens around you as you stated. There you got your 'expert advice'.

[J&F]

Wow, the reason we enjoy AN destinations is because we've always met the best people, I guess they're exceptions to every rule..... I'm truly sorry if I did in fact offend anyone with what I thought was an honest question (225 views=1 took it wrong).
Northernlights- here are some words to live by "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others." Life's too short buddy, no need for the negativity.

[khplay8]

There is occasional oral sex at the pool but not much more than that. Although at the foam party there is usually a few couples that discreetly use the foam party to have sex in the pool. Same holds true for the disco I've seen a few girls stacked up and spanked at the disco. I've done body shots off girls in the disco. Outside of the play rooms or the Jacuzzi you are not likely to see full on open sex but you will definitely see a lot fun open foreplay and teasing far from what I would consider a porn set. Most of the games the entertainment staff puts on at the pool side are "SEXY" games. The entertainment staff will go around the pool putting whip cream on breasts and penises so others can lick it off. There is also a game called sex positions where the couple that does the most sex positions on a pool float in a minute wins.

If you get a cabana down on the beach you can probably avoid seeing any open sex.

Understand one thing though no one will "put it in your face" everyone there is respectful of your lifestyle choice.

[J&F]

There is occasional oral sex at the pool but not much more than that. Although at the foam party there is usually a few couples that discreetly use the foam party to have sex in the pool. Same holds true for the disco I've seen a few girls stacked up and spanked at the disco. I've done body shots off girls in the disco. Outside of the play rooms or the Jacuzzi you are not likely to see full on open sex but you will definitely see a lot fun open foreplay and teasing far from what I would consider a porn set. Most of the games the entertainment staff puts on at the pool side are "SEXY" games. The entertainment staff will go around the pool putting whip cream on breasts and penises so others can lick it off. There is also a game called sex positions where the couple that does the most sex positions on a pool float in a minute wins.

If you get a cabana down on the beach you can probably avoid seeing any open sex.

Understand one thing though no one will "put it in your face" everyone there is respectful of your lifestyle choice.

Great info and exactly what we were hoping to hear, thanks for the insight.

[BandP]

We don't like it "in our face" either. We pay a lot of money to go here just like everyone else. We love the sexy erotic environment. But, we appreciate it when outright porn sex takes place in the areas that are within the rules. When outright "in your face" sex goes on around the pool or lobby bar area, I am offended. That's not what we paid for and not what the resort promotes. If it's around the jacuzzi lounge, play room, or even discretely on a beach bed...it is, and should be totally within ones rights. If you are in these areas, then look away if you are offended. But one shouldn't have to look away in other areas.

We've had jacuzzi and play room fun...not prudes by any means. But it's not a sex resort...it's a clothing optional or some would say "lifestyle" resort. Norhernlightscpl was correct in laying out the hard truth, but if they are offended by your opinion, then they must be the same offenders that have "in your face" sex in areas that are forbidden. There was a couple who we got to know in August this year. Very sweet couple and we enjoyed getting to know them. But, they loved to have sex by the pool...porn style sex...it was shocking at first, then a little erotic, turned to comical, then outright gross. Most people, even the more hard core couples didn't appreciate it and made comments to take it upstairs. Desire is a place where you can be in this fun sexual playground but still remain classy.

Bottom line is you will likely see sex where you don't expect it. If that bothers you, then either avoid it or don't go at all. But, if you do give it a chance, you will see that these instances are rare and depends on who's there that week. Don't worry about offending anyone with your opinion...we are all adults and can take it.

[northernlightscpl]

Wow, the reason we enjoy AN destinations is because we've always met the best people, I guess they're exceptions to every rule..... I'm truly sorry if I did in fact offend anyone with what I thought was an honest question (225 views=1 took it wrong).
Northernlights- here are some words to live by "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others." Life's too short buddy, no need for the negativity.

Good advice. Time to follow it yourself and stop the negative posts. You will not be taken hostage on any porn sets and in your face PDS at Desire, so simply no need to add it to your message. Not sure what the purpose of adding that to your question. Just ask the 'honest' question and not add in your opinion of what you don't like or could be expecting, if you haven't been there yet.

[northernlightscpl]

Wow, the reason we enjoy AN destinations is because we've always met the best people, I guess they're exceptions to every rule..... I'm truly sorry if I did in fact offend anyone with what I thought was an honest question (225 views=1 took it wrong).
Northernlights- here are some words to live by "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others." Life
e's too short buddy, no need for the negativity.

225 view, one responded. It isn't that everyone agrees with your point of view on the way you are expecting things to be. You should notice not everyone who reads a post here responds to every post ??? As a newbie on this site and eventually a Desire guest, it is you that is the exception to the rule of 'best people' you had the high need to use your sharp stick comment. 99.9% of newbies are excited to be part of the vibe on their first trip and don't comment on what they hope they don't see or situations they might be found in as you did. You have a high need to tell everyone what you don't like and hope not to encounter and attack anyone who tells you to slow down with your comments. Try to find that peace you are preaching about.

[J&F]

We don't like it "in our face" either. We pay a lot of money to go here just like everyone else. We love the sexy erotic environment. But, we appreciate it when outright porn sex takes place in the areas that are within the rules. When outright "in your face" sex goes on around the pool or lobby bar area, I am offended. That's not what we paid for and not what the resort promotes. If it's around the jacuzzi lounge, play room, or even discretely on a beach bed...it is, and should be totally within ones rights. If you are in these areas, then look away if you are offended. But one shouldn't have to look away in other areas.

We've had jacuzzi and play room fun...not prudes by any means. But it's not a sex resort...it's a clothing optional or some would say "lifestyle" resort. Norhernlightscpl was correct in laying out the hard truth, but if they are offended by your opinion, then they must be the same offenders that have "in your face" sex in areas that are forbidden. There was a couple who we got to know in August this year. Very sweet couple and we enjoyed getting to know them. But, they loved to have sex by the pool...porn style sex...it was shocking at first, then a little erotic, turned to comical, then outright gross. Most people, even the more hard core couples didn't appreciate it and made comments to take it upstairs. Desire is a place where you can be in this fun sexual playground but still remain classy.

Bottom line is you will likely see sex where you don't expect it. If that bothers you, then either avoid it or don't go at all. But, if you do give it a chance, you will see that these instances are rare and depends on who's there that week. Don't worry about offending anyone with your opinion...we are all adults and can take it.

Thanks BandP, you sound like us and the way we would take it "shocking at first, then a little erotic, turned to comical, then outright gross" Your description of the event is what we meant and it's good to know it's a rarity. I appreciate the insight

[Powderfinger]

Wow, the reason we enjoy AN destinations is because we've always met the best people, I guess they're exceptions to every rule..... I'm truly sorry if I did in fact offend anyone with what I thought was an honest question (225 views=1 took it wrong).
Northernlights- here are some words to live by "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others." Life
e's too short buddy, no need for the negativity.

225 view, one responded. It isn't that everyone agrees with your point of view on the way you are expecting things to be. You should notice not everyone who reads a post here responds to every post ??? As a newbie on this site and eventually a Desire guest, it is you that is the exception to the rule of 'best people' you had the high need to use your sharp stick comment. 99.9% of newbies are excited to be part of the vibe on their first trip and don't comment on what they hope they don't see or situations they might be found in as you did. You have a high need to tell everyone what you don't like and hope not to encounter and attack anyone who tells you to slow down with your comments. Try to find that peace you are preaching about.

Honestly, the one who continually attacks, and preaches to those who don't exactly conform to their views of what Desire is, and how all guests should act, is you. You have a long, long posting history of doing exactly that.

[TandD]

Wow, the reason we enjoy AN destinations is because we've always met the best people, I guess they're exceptions to every rule..... I'm truly sorry if I did in fact offend anyone with what I thought was an honest question (225 views=1 took it wrong).
Northernlights- here are some words to live by "When you find peace within yourself, you become the kind of person who can live at peace with others." Life's too short buddy, no need for the negativity.

Good advice. Time to follow it yourself and stop the negative posts. You will not be taken hostage on any porn sets and in your face PDS at Desire, so simply no need to add it to your message. Not sure what the purpose of adding that to your question. Just ask the 'honest' question and not add in your opinion of what you don't like or could be expecting, if you haven't been there yet.

I'm gonna have to disagree with you northernlightscpl. The original post was simple enough and I think you read negativity into it when there was none given. IMHO, the OP was just trying to get additional nuances about what to expect. Everyone is on a different spot on the spectrum of what they are comfortable being in the middle of sexually and these guys were trying to ask a simple question to help them decide. They explained that they were specifically asking about the apparent contradictions between the resort policy of sex only in specified locations, and posts here which seemed to indicate they might encounter it other places. A reasonable question it seems to me. Their comment about "in our faces" and "held hostage" that seemed to trigger you, was light hearted and was accompanied by a smiley to try to be funny. To me, that marked it as more of a figure of speech than some sort of pre-judging, non-accepting ultimatum that they were laying down.

J&F, as others have posted. I think you will probably be fine. With the caveat that we've only been three times, the most hard-core thing I've seen at the pool is body shots on the bar - once or twice in 15 days total at the resort. Now granted, if you were sitting there and I convinced my wife to hop up on the bar to pour a drink between her legs, you might be offended because *technically* that's a bit beyond the rules. I think that's the caliber of public sex you might encounter outside of designated areas.

Hope that helps.